Well, To Be Honest

We continue our series today on Prayer: Opening Your Heart to God. We’ve explored the privilege of prayer, discovered how to pray authentically, ventured into the realm of dangerous prayers, and wrestled with the mystery of unanswered prayers. I hope you have been benefiting from the series and you’ve truly been discovering your heart being opened to God. Today’s topic hinges on that openness. Today we’re going to look at the topic of painfully honest prayers… and to pray with genuine honesty requires an open heart and a lot of trust.
Let’s begin exploring this topic by looking at one painfully honest prayer.

[Jeremiah 20.7-18]

As you read along or listened to these words of Jeremiah you might have wondered what the heck was he saying? Jeremiah comes off a bit schizophrenic in this prayer, jumping back and forth between deep pain and great joy. Well, to be honest I thought the same thing when I read this passage. Jeremiah’s words didn’t make much sense to me so I backed up and refreshed my memory on the who and what of Jeremiah.

Jeremiah was born and grew up in a small village not far from Jerusalem. Jeremiah was part of a priestly family, but he never served as a priest in the Temple because of his call from God to be a prophet. Jeremiah began fulfilling God’s assignment to proclaim judgment on God’s sinful people in the form of attack and destruction by the armies of Babylon by talking to the rulers, priests, and merchants of Israel. For 22 years Jeremiah had been telling the Hebrew people God’s desire for them to change their ways and still the judgment doesn’t come. For 22 years the nation remained stubborn and obstinate, ignoring Jeremiah, believing they are doing okay. But at this point in the story the armies of Babylon are now marching toward Jerusalem. The king has heard of the approach of the Babylonians, fear has gripped the hearts of the inhabitants and of the king himself. Jeremiah comes to them and says, “I’ve got a message for you from God. God sees your corruption, your wickedness, your self-centeredness. God sees how you are rebelling against him. God wants you to turn things around and repent. God wants you to receive forgiveness and go in a new direction as a nation and as individuals.”

Well, to be honest the rulers, priests, and merchants responded like most people probably would and they laughed Jeremiah right out of town. But Jeremiah was determined, although discouraged, and went back this time with details. “In the past When God warned God’s people and they repented, they received forgiveness and experienced the blessings of God. But when they ignored the prophets, judgment came upon them. I beg of you, repent and change!” And again the rulers, priests, and merchants ignored Jeremiah’s message, denying they had a problem, and denying Jeremiah was one of God’s prophets. To add insult to injury, not only do they reject Jeremiah, but they arrest him, beat him, and put him in the stocks for a night where every passerby can hit him and spit on him.

The stocks consists of large, hinged, wooden boards that when a person is placed in the stocks, their feet are locked in place, and sometimes their hands are locked into place directly above their ankles. The victim is in a sitting position – a very uncomfortable sitting position.

In a surprising development Jeremiah finds himself badly beaten and chained in the stocks. For saying what he had been saying all along, he now suddenly finds himself with his back bleeding and raw and sore, his arms and legs imprisoned in stocks which held him in a most uncomfortable position, crouched over and unable to move, facing a long, dark, cold, lonely night. By this time Jeremiah was accustomed to assassination threats. But this was an official action taken by the chief officer of the temple, and it indicates how the opposition to the prophet was hardening at the time.

Looking at verse 7 we have the thoughts of Jeremiah while he is in the stocks, waiting for what would happen in the morning. This is a remarkable account of what the prophet thought while he was imprisoned. He was, to say the least, a profoundly perturbed prophet! Here we get another look at the honest humanity of this man, at the way he faced circumstances just as we do, with fear and despair, alternating at times with faith and confidence. This is an account of wavering between despair and faith. Any of you who have ever found yourself in unexpected trouble for doing the right thing will be able to identify with Jeremiah the prophet at this time, as he fluctuates between bitterness and faith, between despair and praise.

Let us look at the prophet's dilemma. The first thing he feels is that God himself has deceived him:
O LORD, you deceived me, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. {Jer 20.7a}

Here is a bitter cry in which Jeremiah actually charges God with having lied to him, and with having taken advantage of him because he is bigger. Have you ever felt like that toward God? To be honest, I am not sure I would have the nerve to talk with God like this. It is not so much that there have not been times when I was disturbed that there did not seem to be much in the way of divine comfort in my life. There have been moments when I wondered - really wondered - why certain unthinkable things happened in my life when I was doing all I could to honor and serve God. As much as I hate to admit it (and maybe some of you can relate here) there have been a few times when I felt a bit like Jeremiah. This is no little thing Jeremiah is saying here. I have just never thought to talk to God in the way Jeremiah did. Jeremiah is probably thinking back to the promise with which he began his ministry, recorded in the first chapter. God had called Jeremiah as a young man and set him to his task, and Jeremiah had objected:
7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. 9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." {Jer 1:7-10 }

Jeremiah, remembering those words, is saying, "What happened, Lord? What happened to your promise? You said you'd be with me to deliver me, but here I am in these miserable stocks, held a prisoner, my back bloody and sore, having been beaten, and they're threatening my life. You said you'd deliver me! Lord, you've deceived me!"

Well, to be honest that is the way the heart can easily feel toward God, isn't it? Like so many of us, Jeremiah took these promises rather superficially. He read into them certain assumptions God never intended. He assumed "to deliver,” meant "to keep him from all hurt". But God did not say that. Jeremiah saw himself in rather heroic terms, and though he shrank from that call, yet he foresaw no pain or personal injury to himself involved at all. He saw himself as going and declaring the word of God to a people who needed it, but with God setting a wall about him, giving his angels charge over him, keeping him safe through it all. But now he seems to have absolutely no protection, and so he charges God with lying.

That, of course, is the one thing God cannot do. God cannot lie. He cannot be faithless to his promise. No way, no how! And yet, to be honest, Jeremiah feels, as many of us have felt, that God has failed his promise. I do not know how many times people have said to me, referring to the word of God, "Well, I know what it says, but it doesn't work!” That is just another way of saying, "God has deceived me; God's a liar!” And that was the prophet's predicament.

The second thing he found was that people were mocking him:
I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. {Jer 20.7b}

His message was unpopular. And though the people could not answer the keenness of his logic, they did the only thing they could do -- they began to ridicule his person. That is always the refuge of petty minds. When people cannot handle a logical argument they begin to attack the person, and try to destroy him personally. And so they laughed at Jeremiah, poked fun at him, ridiculed him. Mockery is hard to bear, hard for the human spirit to take, and this was getting to Jeremiah.

Third, he discovered an unbearable tension within himself:
Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction. So the word of the LORD has brought me insult and reproach all day long.{Jer 20:8 }

Just a few chapters back, in Chapter 15, he had cried out in an ecstasy of glory,
When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight,{Jer 15:16a }

Now he is saying, "Lord, your word is a rebuke and travesty to me. I wish I had never heard it!” And he wants to quit preaching, but he cannot:
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. {Jer 20:9 }

Jeremiah is torn with this inner tension -- of fear and a dislike of proclaiming the truth, because it only subjects him to ridicule and scorn; and yet when he resolved to quit he found he could not, because the fire of God was burning in his bones and he had to say something. Do you know what that feels like? Perhaps not with respect to public preaching -- we are not all called to that. But have you ever felt that you just had to speak out? Some injustice, some moral wrong, some scandalous conduct, some serious hypocrisy was occurring, and you just could not keep quiet about it. And yet you knew that if you spoke out you would only get into trouble, and nobody would thank you for it -- you would only upset the status quo and create strife -- but you could not contain yourself. Did you ever feel that way? That was what Jeremiah was experiencing here -- this tremendous struggle within himself against the proclamation of the Word of God, which only created more trouble.

The last thing he mentions is the sense he had of living in an atmosphere of total insecurity:
I hear many whispering, "Terror on every side! Report him! Let's report him!" All my friends are waiting for me to slip, saying, "Perhaps he will be deceived; then we will prevail over him and take our revenge on him." {Jer 20:10 }

There is not a person Jeremiah can trust, not a one. Even his familiar friends, those he ate with, visited with, talked with, even they are whispering against him. There is terror on every side. There is no one he can trust. Friends are highly suspect. Even God has deceived him. Well, to be honest that is a pretty accurate description of the way our fears can seize our mind and distort reality – so much so that we can believe that God too is against us, betraying us, lying to us.
Yet, Jeremiah’s faith reassures him.

But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail. They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced; their dishonor will never be forgotten.
O LORD Almighty, you who examine the righteous and probe the heart and mind, let me see your vengeance upon them, for to you I have committed my cause.
Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked.{Jer 20:11-13}

It would be great if we could end the account here. But Jeremiah is a very human being, and so he does as we often do -- he sinks back into even greater despair!

Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!
Cursed be the man who brought my father the news, who made him very glad, saying, "A child is born to you—a son!" {Jer 20:14-15}

He starts to curse the day he was born. It must be about three in the morning now. Up 'til midnight he had been doing fine, but the last hour or two he has been scrunched over in this cruel position, his feet are hurting, his hands are hurting, his head hurts, his back is raw and bloody, and he cannot scratch or soothe it in any way. So the situation gets to be too much again, and he begins to curse the day he was born.

Have you ever said that? "Why was I ever born?" "I wish I'd never been born!” Well, to be honest, Jeremiah does not tell us any more of what went on through the long, long night. What happened? Well, we do not know; we can only guess. But I’m inclined to believe that sometime through that long dark night, the burning in the bones of the prophet, the word of God triumphed over the trembling of his heart. Jeremiah poured out all of his feelings in a painfully honest prayer… all his anger, fear, sadness, confusion, regret, depression, and feelings of betrayal… he let God hear it all, holding nothing back.

Jeremiah also lifted up deep personal words and feelings of praise. In the middle of his pain he still knew the goodness of God. At one moment his tone was depressed and sad and in the next moment he was confident and rejoicing. The depth of Jeremiah’s honesty in prayer led him to transparent expression of his sorrow and joy, his anger and praise.

Jeremiah’s prayer was not schizophrenic; it was just authentically honest. Even though his prayer poured out of a broken heart he still trusted God. His cries were honest expressions of the depth of his despair that was still rooted in his confidence in God’s power and love. Jeremiah felt free to pour out his heart because he was so sure of God’s character. Jeremiah trusted God so much that he was willing to risk praying a painfully honest prayer. He believed God could handle a messy prayer. He knew God was interested in all of his feelings, even the tough and ugly ones. Jeremiah believed being in the presence of God was refuge, even for those with chaos in their hearts.

We can learn a lot about praying openly and honestly from Jeremiah. Sometimes our prayers are so tidy, pretty, and sanitized that God must wonder if our heart is at all connected to our mouth. God knows our pain, sorrow, anger, hurt, and struggles, yet when we pray, too often we push those genuine, honest feelings down and try to present only the positive or to at least clean up the negative. We may feel that expressing our anger or hurt might be offensive to God. Or maybe we were raised to bury those feelings and never let anyone see them. Or maybe we don’t feel free to be honest with God.

Well, y'know what? God knows us and God still loves us. We matter to God and God wants to hear everything that is on our heart. It is time we learn to lift up painfully honest prayers, understanding that they will not injure God. What makes them painful is how hard it can be for us to tell the truth, even to God. When we realize God wants us to pour our heart out to him, our prayers may seem schizophrenic, or messy, but at least they are honest.